I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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