Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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