She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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