Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
