I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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