I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
