SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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