I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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