I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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