when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
