She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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