Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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