Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
