he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
