no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
