I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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