He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize