i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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