You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
