well I can't set my house on fire every night
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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