we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
No subtext here. People are naked.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
