Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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