we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
