We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I want to fling myself into the sun
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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