Can i not drive my cunt home
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Randomize
