I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
