I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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