How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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