The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
