Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.

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  (970): Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game. http://tfl.nu/c0fd
  Replies (11) Good night (4579) Bad night (583)
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  (310): View more from California

  Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."

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  (310): Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz." http://tfl.nu/9mw5
  Replies (6) Good night (3513) Bad night (898)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.

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  (832): I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets. http://tfl.nu/n0nj
  Replies (8) Good night (4655) Bad night (755)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15

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  (803): I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15 http://tfl.nu/mt2n
  Replies (33) Good night (7504) Bad night (668)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins

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  (305): just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins http://tfl.nu/ypgx
  Replies (27) Good night (3808) Bad night (877)
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  (516): View more from New York

  sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.

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  (516): sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it. http://tfl.nu/pgco
  Replies (13) Good night (6839) Bad night (1327)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...

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  (603): hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1... http://tfl.nu/ehgf
  Replies (21) Good night (8489) Bad night (1042)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.

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  (+44): Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate. http://tfl.nu/oa41
  Replies (22) Good night (1061) Bad night (4364)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?

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  (401): I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple? http://tfl.nu/ri0o
  Replies (2) Good night (1933) Bad night (1358)
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  (760): View more from California

  He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?

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  (760): He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite? http://tfl.nu/b780
  Replies (6) Good night (3227) Bad night (874)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor

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  (412): I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor http://tfl.nu/ext1
  Replies (5) Good night (935) Bad night (2049)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."

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  (734): It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE." http://tfl.nu/k46u
  Replies (8) Good night (634) Bad night (1687)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

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  (702): I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love? http://tfl.nu/7zb0
  Replies (19) Good night (4253) Bad night (575)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice

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  (607): I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice http://tfl.nu/kf5f
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (527)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.

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  (208): One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody. http://tfl.nu/x1xc
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (184)

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