Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time

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(314): View more from Missouri

I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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(310): View more from California

Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.

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(971): View more from Oregon

one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.

(706): View more from Georgia

i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...

(971): View more from Oregon

it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

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(302): View more from Delaware

apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.

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(310): View more from California

I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.

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