Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.

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  (650): I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'. http://tfl.nu/1o2s
  Replies (18) Good night (1036) Bad night (2923)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.

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  (816): Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/qpk7
  Replies (28) Good night (828) Bad night (4065)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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  (813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all. http://tfl.nu/2iln
  Replies (125) Good night (15261) Bad night (1425)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining

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  (541): You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining http://tfl.nu/2n0l
  Replies (11) Good night (6076) Bad night (1113)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

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  (239): i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass http://tfl.nu/a9ff
  Replies (12) Good night (3961) Bad night (1075)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

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  (802): She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there. http://tfl.nu/44mo
  Replies (12) Good night (7167) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND

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  (352): I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND http://tfl.nu/oakz
  Replies (32) Good night (1747) Bad night (3537)
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  (716): View more from New York

  OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.

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  (716): OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night. http://tfl.nu/sz8o
  Replies (9) Good night (1659) Bad night (825)
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  (310): View more from California

  Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?

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  (310): Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow? http://tfl.nu/9403
  Replies (5) Good night (1691) Bad night (542)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS

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  (647): YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS http://tfl.nu/r5xh
  Replies (7) Good night (1133) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

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  (508): New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/zu28
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I want to be your penis for a week.

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  (913): I want to be your penis for a week. http://tfl.nu/ha1f
  Replies (10) Good night (661) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'

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  (678): I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.' http://tfl.nu/e36d
  Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (370)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms

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  (330): God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms http://tfl.nu/9eem
  Replies (2) Good night (251) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.

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  (360): Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes. http://tfl.nu/mtcl
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (277)

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