You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?