Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  You know you want to come over later

  (1-323): View more from California

  1:27a: Um no

  (1-323): View more from California

  1:45a: Maybe

  (1-323): View more from California

  2:05a: Probably

  (1-323): View more from California

  2:38a: I'm outside, let me in

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  (323): You know you want to come over later (1-323) 1:27a: Um no (1-323) 1:45a: Maybe (1-323) 2:05a: Probably (1-323) 2:38a: I'm outside, let me in http://tfl.nu/aay3
  Replies (8) Good night (3913) Bad night (875)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

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  (613): One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/t95v
  Replies (31) Good night (2512) Bad night (1826)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

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  (580): That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything. http://tfl.nu/fbvq
  Replies (77) Good night (2635) Bad night (4935)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  There was a lot of him and a little penis

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  (520): There was a lot of him and a little penis http://tfl.nu/hz43
  Replies (57) Good night (660) Bad night (6572)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?

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  (+44): She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea? http://tfl.nu/vmb3
  Replies (19) Good night (5455) Bad night (1832)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

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  (845): Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!" http://tfl.nu/ndk1
  Replies (4) Good night (5003) Bad night (812)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Wow that was a lesbian tornado.

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  (201): Wow that was a lesbian tornado. http://tfl.nu/1am2
  Replies (14) Good night (3628) Bad night (1118)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem

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  (207): he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem http://tfl.nu/s9hf
  Replies (7) Good night (1221) Bad night (3027)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?

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  (303): Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us? http://tfl.nu/b72r
  Replies (20) Good night (990) Bad night (2705)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts

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  (215): Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts http://tfl.nu/dne4
  Replies (2) Good night (1091) Bad night (454)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.

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  (517): winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito. http://tfl.nu/1g88
  Replies (15) Good night (2010) Bad night (595)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.

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  (405): Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out. http://tfl.nu/dhlk
  Replies (9) Good night (1768) Bad night (448)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman

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  (520): Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman http://tfl.nu/fkwg
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (460)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.

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  (701): We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/et4o
  Replies (0) Good night (324) Bad night (583)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.

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  (732): Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world. http://tfl.nu/39cd
  Replies (4) Good night (471) Bad night (249)

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