i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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