who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
we're making bets on your personal life
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books