mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
