You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need to sanitize my soul.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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