I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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