Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was like eating out sand paper
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
