Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
