ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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