I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize