It's just like the Real World with babies
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
