at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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