Sry I called you an 8
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
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Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
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I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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