Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
