But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
