Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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