I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
