i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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