Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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