If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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