A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize