Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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