You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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