i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Randomize