I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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