just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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