the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We have started to decorate penises.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
