This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
