I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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