There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
