what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize