he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
