God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
