I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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