Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
