dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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