Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've blown a few things in my day
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize